Most of us have made a lot of mistakes trying to choose a person for your life before your develop a full understanding of yourself, and so you choose a person that is right for you at that time, not understanding that you are going to evolve, and not being wise enough to understand that this person may not have the capacity to evolve with you. 

Sometimes we choose people before we develop a full understanding of who we are. You first need to know yourself well. Who you are, where you going and who is fit enough to be with you on your journey to becoming who you want to be.

What’s important in a relationship is not the size of a woman’s bustline or the size of a mans biceps. In your early years in life, we choose our life partner based on these things and eventually these relationships end in broken hearts, divorces, etc. You will reach a certain point in life when you get to mature and really realise what’s important in a relationship and whats important in a relationship is not the physical aspects of a woman, height, weight, waistline etc..or even how big his bank account is. He must at least have a bank account but that is not the main aspect on your list. How fine a woman is should not be number 1 on your list because a lot of you here reading this have had many fine men or women, good looking with huge bank accounts but it didn’t work!

So, how do you know the right one ?

1. Respect

Respect is actually big on both sides. A woman must never have a man that disrespects her. As respect goes both ways, when a man meets a woman that disrespects him in anyway he MUST run immediately. The right partner is respectful enough to talk to you in a certain kind of way. She will not call you “boy”, clowning you in front of her friends and family.  It doesn’t matter how much you think you are in love with a person, the issue of respect is something you need to consider when identifying your life partner. If a relationship is not built on respect, you have no foundation.

2. They will make you feel like number 1.

The right woman will make you feel like you’re the only man on the planet. The right man will make you feel like you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, obviously if you’re taking good care of yourself.

They will make you feel like you are priority in their life. You should never marry a person that does not make you number 1. The one that you should walk down the isle and say yes to, is the one who makes you their priority before anyone or anything else.

3. They have the ability to make you laugh.

Imagine spending the rest of your life with someone that never makes you laugh ? Being able to make your partner laugh is more attractive that anything relative to your physique. In most cases, a woman is attracted to man that will take his time to make her laugh. Don’t you wanna be with somebody that can make you laugh and that you can laugh with ? It can’t be all serious business all the time ? Laughter must be found within your relationship without having to turn to the TV of other forms of entertainment. Your relationship goals should be guided by keeping each other in a light and healthy place. Your relationship must be filled with laughter.

4. They are generous.

The right one should be generous in every way. They are generous with their time, financially and anything else you might think of. No woman should marry a man that is stingy with their money. If you go on a date and that man allows you to pay for it, especially when they can afford it but they simply allow you to pay for it, then you need to think twice about taking things further. A man should have a mind to take care of your financially even if you are financially stable. You can help out with the bills depending on the lifestyle you choose for yourselves.

Relationships work on the give and take system. A healthy relationship will work when 2 mature people understand that they are to enter into this covenant and empty out themselves, one into the other. “If I give my wife everything she needs, she has no needs” “If I give everything my husband needs, he has no needs”. You will have a solid union that has no cracks.

When you are dating a person that shows signs of selfishness,  I would strongly advise not to go to the deep end with them. The right one will give everything they have and more.

5. They let you be yourself.

The right one will let you be yourself. You will not need to put up an act to be someone you’re not. You must not be with someone who is always trying to change you. They don’t like the way you talk ? They don’t like the way you dress ? There are some things about you that will not change and if they don’t like you for who you are, then they are not the right person for you. The right one is going to love you for who you are.

6. They are patient with you.

They right one will not try to rush you into anything. The right man on woman will not persuade you to do something you’re not ready to do.

7. They will close the deal.

The right one will not keep you for long before taking the relationship to the next level. A 4 year engagement is not usually a serious relationship unless there is a good reason for the delay.

8. They don’t lie to you.

The right one will not lie to you. If you been seeing someone for a while and you had a lot of conversations and they’ve never lied to you, even about small things. Small lies speak of a major character flow. There is not foundation of a healthy relationship with a person that has major character issues like that. The right one will be a person that is trustworthy. They do not lie to you, especially about serious issues. Even when you catch them lying they maintain a pattern of lies, they are not serious with you. Make your decision on the way forward but consider whether yo want to spend the rest of your life with this person.

9. You have shared vision.

Many times you will have chemistry with a person, they may even be a nice person but if you do not share the same vision for the future, where can the 2 of you go if you do not have the same destination ? If you’re an Eagle, connecting yourself with a Duck will create a discord in your life. There’s nothing wrong with being a duck, but you must be properly aligned before you take flight. Eagles need Eagles because ducks can’t fly where Eagles fly. When you handcuff yourself with someone that you don’t share a vision with, you are handcuffing your own progress.

10. They support your personal goals.

No relationship that leads to marriage is supposed to ever divorce you from yourself. If a person is not supportive of your personal goals, you must automatically turn your relationship to just a friendship. You must not marry a person that will help you bury all the potential that you have in your life. Marry a person who is supportive of your goals – if they are realistic – who will help you to maximise your potential.

11. Your friends and relatives see the same thing you see.

You will know that you are with the right one when the people close to you see the same thing you see. Your parents, friends and siblings are people who have taken care of you, they have been and are always there for you, these are people who love you are always looking out for you. Usually when they don’t agree with your current choice it is purely for your own good. Take time to consider their opinion. If you have kids and you bring home a person and the kids really don’t like your person, slow down a bit while you look a little closer before you take the big leap.

Good luck with finding your soulmate!