12 basic rules for long, lasting relationships

Building and maintaining a long-lasting relationship requires effort, commitment, and understanding from both partners. While there are no foolproof guarantees, following these five basic rules can significantly enhance the chances of a successful, enduring relationship

1. Don’t believe in the notion of “finding love when you’re not looking.”

   This idea is akin to expecting a job to magically appear when you’re not actively seeking one. Waiting passively rarely leads to success. Instead, put in genuine effort to find someone, avoiding desperation while ensuring you don’t settle for just anyone.

2. Engage in activities where you’ll meet people who share your interests.

   Attend social gatherings, join meet-up groups, participate in causes you care about, or get involved in political events. Additionally, consider trying online dating to expand your options further.

3. Lift your head from your phone and be present in your surroundings.

   There are many great people around you, but you won’t notice them if you’re constantly absorbed in your device. Make eye contact with interesting strangers, smile, and be open to conversation.

4. Look for a partnership rather than just romance.

   While romance is enjoyable on dates, a lasting relationship requires more than fleeting feelings. Seek someone who values communication, mutual respect, and consideration of each other’s desires.

5. Happy and confident individuals naturally attract others.

   Work on improving yourself and your life; be the person you would like to meet. If you struggle with self-esteem or other personal issues, seek professional help or guidance to grow as an individual.

6. After a divorce or breakup, take time for self-reflection and healing.

   Give yourself the space to understand who you are again and learn from past experiences to avoid repeating mistakes.

7. Don’t rush the process of developing feelings for someone.

   True love often takes time to blossom and mature. Allow emotions to evolve naturally, rather than solely relying on instant sexual attraction.

8. While opposites may attract initially, long-term relationships tend to thrive among like-minded individuals.

   Shared values and goals create a stronger foundation for lasting happiness.

9. Develop a “psychotic optimist” mindset, believing that love is destined for you.

   Embrace the dating process with enthusiasm and have fun meeting different people until you find the right match.

10. Understand your own needs and communicate them effectively.

    Being aware of your personal preferences and boundaries will help you and your future partner better understand each other.

11. Differentiate between casual dating and building a serious relationship.

    Take the time to understand a person’s true character before getting deeply involved, as initial behavior may not accurately represent their true self.

12. Stay open to the possibilities, but don’t rush into anything.

    Be patient, have realistic expectations, and enjoy the journey of finding the right partner for you. Remember, you are a work in progress, always evolving and growing as a person.