Signs the one you’re dating is not the one

Every relationship has a fair amount of compromise and we all know there is no such thing as a perfect match. However, that compromise should not come at the expense of your self-confidence, values or lifestyle.

So, we compiled a list to tell whether he’s “the one,” or just simply one of many who aren’t quite right for you:

1) You’re Not in Any Hurry to Introduce Them to your Family

When you meet the person of your dreams, and you feel secure in the relationship you will immediately want to tell the world, you will not think twice about introducing them to your family.

If you’re been in doubt about introducing your person, its a definite sign that you’re not fully invested in this person and they’re not your soulmate.

2) You Keep Making Excuses for your Person

If you’re always making excuses for the person you’re dating because their behaviour isn’t socially acceptable, or they’re just absent from social situations, that’s another sign their not the one.

You find yourself commonly uttering phrases like “oh, he / she’s just really stressed at work,” or “he’s been really tired lately” , then it sounds like your lover can’t keep up with your lifestyle or doesn’t want to.

3) They Don’t Add Value to Your Life

When you’re with someone and it feels like they don’t add value in your life, especially when you’re at the stage in your life where you want a meaningful and potentially long-term relationship. If you get to a point where you establish that this relationship was okay in the beginning but it is no longer of essence and cannot be useful to you in future, then you need to consider cutting it of for your own benefit as well as for you current partner. 

4) You’re Struggle to Have a Decent Conversation That Doesn’t End In an Argument

When you’re with someone you love, there are some things that should just drift easily and can come to a conclusion without friction. You must be able to discuss topics, share points of view and even vent frustrations without turning it into a heated argument that calls your relationship into the mix.

5) You Battle to Make Plans for a Month Ahead, Let Alone a Lifetime

If you’re not comfortable planning a month ahead together, then you’re probably not comfortable with the thought of a future with the person you’re with. Long-term love is just that  – long term! so when you are dating “The One” it isn’t hard to set dates in stone or make commitments even into the distant future. This doesn’t necessarily spell an end to the relationship, but it does mean acknowledging that this is more of a “good time” than a long-time arrangement.

6) You are Never Quite on the Same Page

If you don’t feel like the person you’re dating is on the same page of the journey of life as you, then you need to decide if you feel you can adopt their own path, or if you would choose go your own way and find someone who is in more or less the same path.

7) Your Partner Brings Out a Side of You That You Don’t Like

Nothing brings out the worst in any one like the wrong partner, be assured that the right person won’t bring out these things in you, but rather nurture the parts of you that you like.

If your partner makes you feel insignificant or you’re always told you’re wrong or your thoughts are crazy, then you’ll probably lose your cool or get bitter when you argue. 

8) You Often Compare Them to Other People

You are meant to be satisfied with the person you’re with and forsake all other. If whenever you’re around friends and often think “I wish my partner was more like Ed, or did more kind things like Mary” , that’s not always a great sign. 

As far as signs go, this is flashing neon that you’re not dating your soulmate if you have your sights set on happily ever after.

9) They Don’t Make You Feel Good About Yourself or Good Enough For Them

Another important that you’re not with your soulmate is that you don’t feel encouraged by your partner. The person you are dating and about to be married to should be your biggest fan and your number one cheerleader. In relationships like this, you see people go on to do phenomenal things in life. But if the root of not feeling good about yourself is your partners lack of enthusiasm, then you’re certainly not in the right match.

Perhaps it’s not so much about you, but about how lucky they think you are to be with them, and it kind of makes you feel like you’re not good enough? Well then you haven’t found “the one”, because when that happens, you will both feel like the luckiest person alive.

10) There Is No Respect

Love is an emotion we can’t always control, sometimes we don’t always choose who we give love to. But when it comes to respect, it’s difficult to respect someone we don’t love as long as they do something we admire, or we know is difficult. Respect is a choice, and it’s difficult to be in a relationship with someone you don’t respect.

Respect means that someone cares about your feelings, gives value to your words and has time for you. A lack of respect is the opposite. If you don’t have respect for your partner, or vice versa, it is one of the major sign out of all signs that you’re not with who you should be with. Respect is central to a good relationship.

11) You Constantly Picture Yourself with Someone Else

This one is the biggest of all signs. When you constantly imagine yourself with someone else other than you current partner, is a definite sign you haven’t found your soulmate.  That’s a pretty legit way to know you’re not all in yet with the person you’re dating. When you picture your next holiday and the person next to you in that picture is someone other than your partner, then you need to let that poor soul go.

12) You Don’t Tell That Person Everything

If you’re with someone and you still keep some things a secret, then you’re probably not with “The One”. When you meet that person and get close, you won’t need to keep things from them, or withhold the whole truth because you trust them with the deepest part of you.

Just like you wouldn’t want to date someone who is withholding things from you, they probably feel the same. So as far as signs go, this one’s a red light to the person being your soulmate and this relationship being “The One.”

13) You Don’t Agree on Fundamental Things

if you don’t share the same views on important topics to you, like family planning or politics, then it’s going to be an uphill battle for you both.

Financial goals, how to bring up children or what city you want to live in are all major aspects of life, and if you can’t agree on most of these, then you’re heading for disaster. It’s not to say you can’t have a great relationship, but these are just signs you probably haven’t found your soulmate  yet.

14) They’re Just Not That into You but You’re Afraid to Let Go

You may have realised already that the person you’re dating is not that crazy about you, but you’re just staying attached because it’s better than being single. The truth is that many people have experienced being single and survived!

If you’re just sticking around with someone to keep warm in winter, to share the rent, or because you don’t want anyone else to have them, then that’s pretty messed up and neither of you will ever know the potential of the true happiness you could be having with someone else. Take that leap of faith, go forth and find someone who is 100% into you.