Questions to ask a man before you commit

A wise woman will ask the right questions before she allows a man into her life. 

Questions uncover motives and hidden agendas. If you ask the right questions, you will discover what you are working with before you invest yourself in a relationship. 

Asking questions will help you determine if you are really attracted to this man, it will you help you determine if you are compatible with him at all levels. 

Dating is designed to be the time to collect the necessary data. Never be intimidated by a man to avoid asking the right questions, because you either ask questions or you will have to learn over many wasted years of experience. 

You can only determine if you are compatible with this man through questions. If you ask questions especially at the beginning of your relationship, you will not have to learn all of that stuff later on, when its probably even too late. 

Sometimes you even marry the wrong people because you didn’t ask the right questions in the beginning.

 

“What matters most to you”

A persons priorities will reveal their philosophy about life. When you ask a man what matters most to him, he is going to talk about where they make their greatest investment. He will probably talk about his parents, his career his future plans maybe. Whatever his responce to this question is, it will help you determine if you’re dealing with a guy of substance.

“What attracted you to me ?”

This one should be asked ideally within the first few conversations, if not the first conversation.

A good responce would be about your good qualities and learning more about you. If he’s not talking about learning more about you and all he’s talking about is your body and your looks You will need to use your own judgement to determine his motives with you based on this answer.

If he stumbles and fumbles, and takes time to think about why is is with you on a date, you will need to take a closer look at his motives.

“How did your last relationship end” 

When he opens up with this question, you will get a clear insight into how he handles relationships and whether he expects from  you what the previous partner could not agree with. As an example, he may say

 “What’s your vision for the future”

This question is important because it will give you a glimpse for the reality of you and him being equally yoked in terms of your future. You must understand that even if you hook up with a good looking guy, nice personality, but if he doesn’t have a vision, he is not going to make you happy, especially if you have set for yourself a lot to accomplish.

His vision will determine if you will have any purpose in his life.

If your vision is larger than his, then your relationship is not going anywhere. It will not be easy for you to submit to somebody whose vision is too small for you to fit into.

You will know at that point whether or not you can be with this person or not.

“What is the difference between a mans role vs woman ?”

When you ask him this, you are going to discover what he expects from a wife and what does it mean for him to be a husband. This question will help you to know whether or not you are going to be able to meet his expectations.

This will tell you whether he wants someone who’s going to take care of them, or whether he believes a man will take care of the woman or perhaps he wants a 50/50 relationship.

None of these will make him a bad person, it will just determine whether he fits the profile of a man you want.

“What bothers you about women ?”

This is a rather uncomfortable question for most guys but ask him anyway. This kind of question will help you make headway in the relationship especially if he ticks all the boxes. At this point he will either be honest with you and tell you exactly what is a major turn off for him but you will get an idea about the kind of guy you are dating.

“What have you learned about me ?”

Love pays attention. After a period of dating, say a month  

and a man who is mature enough to nurtue a woman, is a man that pays attention and learns her preferences. Your kind of music, yuor favourite retaurant. You will find him acting on what you share. He will start catering to your preference. Go with a man that pays attention yo what you desire. His role is to honour you.

If he has nothing, he may just be playing a role to get you to bed. He is not really paying attention to you. A man that’s into you will pay attention to you and he wants to give you what you desire.

 

Sandra Mapfumo
Author: Sandra Mapfumo

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